A Stubborn Lover

I am gonna make a little mess in me

Like I am gonna feel the pain inside me

Like I am gonna sit still under the tree

Like I am gonna drink a sip of a bitter tea

And I am gonna capture you in my brain

feeling your gaze, trying to understand

speaking my love without any bargain

relish your abstain, again and again

And i know,

from the first time your eyes flashed mine, i was on fire

from the first time my heart told me so, i wasn’t a liar

from the first time i felt this ache, i felt admire

But then I wish,

you don’t mind,

Cause my heart, is already blind

can only capture you from behind

imagine our scene, and then rewind

Bandar Lampung, December 18, 2017

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Pertama Kali

aku bertemu denganmu, pertama kali
ketika hari masih dini
ketika matahari belum tinggi
ketika harapan akan cita kembali memenuhi relung hati

aku berbicara denganmu, pertama kali
dalam keheningan hati
tentang sepotong informasi masa lalu yang kau gali
juga tentang duniamu yang engkau cintai

aku mengagumimu, sejak pertama kali
bukan karena keindahan ragawi
bukan karena kredibilitasmu yang diagungi
bukan karena dorongan hasrat duniawi

aku tetap mengagumimu, seperti pertama kali
meski duniamu terlalu jauh untuk disinggahi
meski perspektifmu tak bisa kumengerti
meski nurani tak membenarkan diri

aku menikmati
setiap waktu yang kau beri
setiap cerita yang kau bagi
setiap rasa yang terpatri

dari pertama kali..

 

(poetry by M. Shubhiyuda Wibawa)

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Why am I to be blamed

if i say the color of the sky is Amber and it turns Byzantine in the dusk,
then why am I to be blamed?

if i sleep through the day and instead, i run through the night,
then why am I to be blamed?

if i say the truth is ugly and ugly is alright,
then why am I to be blamed?

if i scent strawberry sweet but i prefer the scent of the musk,
then why am I to be blamed?

i was mistaken for so long, but when i wear a mask,
why am i NOT to be blamed?

but every time i try to show who i really am, and turn on the light,
then why am I to be blamed?

Bandar Lampung, March 14, 2018

— Shofia Ishar

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Yang terjaga

Bulan purnama nanar di penghujung bulan yang samar
Ke-dua puluh tujuh pertama sabit cemerlang di langit hitam
Ada bingkai di kelam langit menjaga rembulan
Ada tawa di kulit bumi menatap meratap

Siapa yang terjaga pada malam
Gadis-gadis keluar tertawa,
biarkan mereka terjaga
Para perawan masuk kamar diintai para penjaga
Berjaga lah wahai penjaga

Disana dia, wahai yang terjaga
Disini saya dijaga penjaga
Penjaga yang terjaga, penjaga yang menjaga
Oh apakah bisa menjaga nya wahai penjaga
Bagaimana dengan saya, saya ingin dijaga agar terjaga

Bulan purnama nanar di akhir yang samar
Ke-dua puluh tujuh pertama langit terjaga-menjaga
Ke dua puluh delapan lalu bersua.. kemana semua Biarkan purnama terjaga
Tak ada yang menjaga
Oh semua sia-sia

Bandung, July 29th 2010

_ Shofia Ishar

Photo by Tom Bol

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Bukan tentangmu

Ini bukan tentangmu yang akan pergi,
Tapi mengenai saya yang tidak bisa lagi sendiri
Ini bukan tentang kamu yang terlalu dalam memikat raga ini,
Tapi mengenai saya yang terlalu jauh menitipkan hati
Ini bukan tentang kamu yang akan hilang dari pandangan ini,
Tapi mengenai saya yang akan sulit melihat lagi
Tanpamu, duniaku sekejap menjadi “saya”
Lalu apalah saya ini
Sungguh saya kehilangan arti

Bandung, May 8th 2011

Shofia Ishar

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In a hotel room

There was a moment in March
When suddenly all memories came out
We saw each other like we’ve been apart
and we didn’t feel like doing any stuff

“Kids are all right”, you said
“and we’re tired of chasing”
“we’re not worried of everything but now we’re hiding”
“for a moment please, don’t say anything”
“we’re off for looking, just take sometime off of facing”
“This linen bed we’re embracing, wouldn’t say anything”
“it would say nothing”

It was in the middle of March
a quite place on earth suddenly came out
with a wide window where the sun light spread out
with a perfect blanket and all paints were white
“Kids are alright, you said”
“but how about us?”

Bandar Lampung, March, 2018

— Shofia Ishar

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Ganesha dan Bougenville merah muda

Bisik mimpi kita kumandangkan satu-satu
Di sepanjang jalan Ganesha
Di bawah Bougenville merah muda.
Muda dan sumringah kita,
Angkuh akan ilmu yang tak seberapa

Bisik mimpi kita bagi satu-satu
Lewat asa yang menderu
Di tujuan yang belum tentu..
Muda dan ceroboh kita,
Tawalah yang jadi nomor satu

Bisik mimpi kita tukar di keintiman
Dalam hangat pertemanan
Dalam obrolan tak terbeban
Dalam lelucon kekanakan..

Muda dan bersemangat kita,
Apapun kita buru
Bisik mimpi kini terwujud satu-satu
di kepergian kalian satu per satu
Jalan Ganesha sepi sendu
Bisikkan ku tawa yang lalu
di bawah bougenville yang menjelma ungu

Muda dan mendewasa kita,
Namun tak lagi menyatu..

-Bandung 21 Juni 2011-

Dedicated to Ganesha Troops.. Miss y’all 🙂

image : http://blog.worldcraze.com/en/2016/02/24/your-life-as-an-exchange-student/

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BEING AWAY FROM HOME

I knew this could be clumsy
And i miss my mommy
I thought this would be easy
But i found my self wrong

I found a guy
With the nicest smile
He took me away some miles
To have a drink a while
To have a dream and fly
To have a kiss and good bye

I knew this would seem funny
In a moment i agree
But he took me off of my mommy
Being a way from daddy
To miss them so deeply

Bandar Lampung, November 17th, 2017

Shofia Ishar

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Cook For You

I am not a cook
but i’ll cook for you
I know i can’t sing
but i’ll sing for you

I am not a cook
But i’ll cook for you
I know it won’t taste that good
But i’ll still cook for you

I know i am not a cook
but i can be one for you
like i will sing for you
while i cook for you
(written in January 6th 2015)

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Fainted

Like I always say,

if tomorrow is Monday,
We don’t need to hurry, like, hey!
And I am alone with my mind away,
Doing this.. like a ghost today

And i still do this somehow,
No matter i struggle to stand, but how?
I am not living this world alone, am I?
And with my things, you’ll not be so wowed
And this is my self right now

Like I always say,

if tomorrow is the day,
I’ll leave all these right away
This is my dream anyway
No need to worry by the way

Bandar Lampung, November 28, 2017

__ Shofia Ishar

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